As of last Wednesday I am a year older. And maybe a little wiser. Though I still have too many questions to be answered in a lifetime.

Why must love be so irrational at moments? That is what truly baffles me. I mean, if two people care about one another, but neither want a relationship, why do they feel that pull? Why do they always end up back in each others arms.

We've tried, we've stayed away from one another, went weeks without talking. But we always end up back here. Back to 2 am phone calls, and stealing kisses when we can. Feeling jealousy when we shouldn't. And stupid one night stands, that aren't one night stands at all.

But none of it is healthy. We sit and wait, hoping that things will be right this time. That maybe everything will be okay and that the outcome will be different. That minds will not be confused and people will approve. We try to not get our emotions involved, but go running as soon as they do.

We always end up back here. One person disappointed by the other, wishing they would tell them what they feel. The other running away, not wanting to admit he cares. Both of us saying we won't let it happen again. And still yearning to fall asleep in each others arms. To feel loved and cared for. To know they will be there when needed most.

We give up. And then it starts all over again. Hearts break and mend, but never quite the same. They fracture in the same places, and pull apart from the pieces. We break, and feel our body's take the toll. And neither of us admits it's wrong. Because we need each other. But we can't bare to admit it.

How is this love? Or how is it not. Emotions are silly things, But we can't help but feel them.